Month: September 2019 Page 2 of 4

We left the Bay Area and headed back up to Coeur d’Alene. We had dropped off the RV in Spokane before we left and it was not ready today as it was supposed to. We have lovely friends to stay with, but I was just cranky today. Don’t know if we were in a Oakland for too long, is was a long emotional week or if I was just feeling homeless. Good thing Mudgy & Millie set me straight.

We head out tomorrow, back up to Spokane…but we’ve been here long enough now that I am currently feeling like RV what? I have a bathroom, halls, a bed with space around it 🙂

Otherwise had a fun day hanging out with Julia and the kids

Haven’t sat with jj in the car for multiple hours in a long time. Felt good.

Here’s a good podcast to listen to about emotional health and disease…

Today I was officially spent. It was enough just to take the girls for a walk. We did swam back out to the box to check up on the spot. Contradictory to yesterday, the water felt instantly cold. It was still there, with just slightest covering of sand. I think it may even stay there for awhile, snuggled in between 3 giant boulders.

It was just nice to have a mellow day with Julia Mike and the girls.

I think I cried more today than yesterday…maybe there was too many logistics to allow for real emotions. This morning I went over to Nagymama’s for some leftovers and coffee and lay in her bed listening to Autumn 🍁 Leaves. The amount of times I heard that (dedi’s ringtone) on my moms phone… It was good and needed and I know it was time, but I also know her absence will he felt.

We drove up to Tahoe today to place her ashes in the lake. Man I really went in deep with this experience. I think these last few weeks are the most spiritual I have ever felt.

Lake Tahoe, the most beautiful lake in the world!!! Some say it’s cold, which it is. But man if it’s not the most refreshing body of water I’ve ever swam in, and today was no exception. It didn’t feel cold at first. Not sure if I volunteered or was nominated, but I just knew I would be the one to place the ashes down at the bottom. It’s one of the ways I feel close to my mom because we share a similar sense of doing things.

Everyone was on Sebi’s boat except my mom, Edwin and myself. (thanks Edwin for always staying close) Mom and I scouted for the right spot. Close to the house, about 100’ straight off the pier, but only ~12’ deep. I swam down, placed it in the sand as best I could, and cane up for air. Immediately everyone began tossing rose petals into the lake. It was a beautiful and serene experience.

And then of course a champagne 🥂 toast. Happy Days ❤️ 💜

It was a beautiful day. The service was full of music and I thought it really turned out nicely. The wake back on Sept 2nd was really the funeral for me so although I was still emotional, I feel I was able to celebrate her life and be present. It was special that so many cousins that I had grown up with flew from Europe and across the country to be here and the nostalgia was magnetic.

Thank you Nagymama for bringing this family together. I have such fond memories of my childhood with all the cousins by the pool. How lucky I am to have grown up with my mom and grandmother by my side. And then to have had 2 girls of my own and be a part of a 4th generation line of women. I feel so fortunate to live life, see, and experience the different stages of life simultaneously. It is something I’ll cherish forever.

Today began with going to the San Francisco flower mart at 6:30am. I’m so happy I went with my mom, it was a neat experience and it’s simply beautiful to walk through there…its worth going to.. The girls continued working on their report. We also had them write a personal reflection piece on what it means to be a part of a female line with 4 generations. They made me cry.

We finalized the program, got them printed, had fun folding them with cousins, then went to a yummy dinner with everyone…felt like old times mixed with new times.